I’m worse than I thought and also better

The starting sentence is from Knee Sounds by Courtney Martin. 

I’m worse than I thought and also better. I thought I could bite the bullet on anything but I couldn’t. Yet, learning that I couldn’t and wouldn’t was important. Learning about choice was important. 

I’m worse than I thought and also better. There was always so much to learn, so much to master, and yet I’m not giving up. If the world only values the end goal, I can champion for the progress, the pain and joy every step of the way. 

I’m worse than I thought and also better. My attention span had grown shorter but I now read more widely. 

I’m worse than I thought and also better. I’m not the most courageous that I could be but I was already more courageous than I gave myself credit for. 

I’m worse than I thought and also better. Forgetting is not as easy as I thought but at least I could push things to a cobwebbed corner so that they wouldn’t bother me most of the time.