Character Sketches (1)

What I’m using to do these character sketches are based on my list of catalyst events and feelings that I had previously shared on this blog.

Today’s entry was based on the following prompt: Feeling Composed amidst the Rise of a New Power. What I did was to brainstorm for 5 minutes on this prompt and then I took the direction that could most show off an emotion in a dramatic way. It was a bit of unfortunate thing that my first attempt was based on the feeling of composed (which I see as a very mild feeling) but I compensated for it by choosing to write about someone who was composed in the situation of the rise of a new power but then had his composure cracked.

Below is the actual snippet:

“Do you know that the new Duke of Uprowe…..”

I listened to the waves of gossip floating around me and felt only disdain. Those idiots, they should have stood as a bystander like I did and bided their time rather than jumping headlong into the harebrained schemes concocted by the two imbeciles Henry and Roland. And now look where that left them? Scrabbling madly when an upstart came forth to annihilate the two imbeciles.

Just then, the buzz around me suddenly fell silent. I looked up and saw that a man dressed fashionably for court was approaching ahead of his two attendants. It just happened that his face was shrouded by the dusk lighting from where I was standing and when it finally emerged into my vision, I felt cold sweat developing on my forehead. How could this be? I’d only glimpsed him once when I pulled out my sword from his limp body. But there could be mistaking it: this upstart was the son of my once mortal enemy, who I had thought died alongside with his repugnant father, at none other than my own hands!

Doing a bit of post-writing analysis myself, I think that my signature of getting inside of character heads (to coin my beta reader) is still running dominant in the snippet above. This does water down the strength of the emotion in this scene. As for more, I can’t judge for myself. So what are your thoughts?

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