Live and Let Live (4)

I had found the inspiration to write up one more snippet after all but I think it would be the last. The main reason is that I don’t think it helps me to improve my writer craft since it is some kind of signature feature of my writing that I tend to delve into character’s inner dialogues a lot. However, I will keep the practice of posting random writing snippets every two weeks, just to use as an excuse to keep in practice for novel writing. What I would do from now on is work on areas that are my short points. I think I’ve mentioned that one of them is characterisation and one area I’ve pinpointed is character emotions. So this will be the theme that my future random snippets would be based on: character sketches displaying how they deal with specific emotions.

Anyway, here’s snippet 4 (and likely the last snippet, I’ve writer’s whims so who knows what I will do):

“I’m not your enemy and I’ve done nothing to harm you so stopping treating me like one. If anything, you’ve brought me nothing but trouble. I must’ve owed you a debt in my past life” Right, here we go again, I’m the sole cause of everything that had gone wrong in her life. If she had made a bad decision, she made it because of me. And she told me not to villainise her, right then stop villanising me. How is that fair? Everything I’ve done wrong is due to a character fault, and note, a character fault that she had tried her best to steer me away from. Meanwhile, she’s the all-noble mother that had to sacrifice this and sacrifice that and put up with all the wrong choices because of me, because she had my welfare in mind. And if I suggested that she had some ulterior motive i.e. she wanted to fulfil what she couldn’t through me, she would jump up to the ceiling in rage! Well, I couldn’t do the same with her when she provoked me into rage. So I just turn cold. I just turn cold inside, which is effectively what she does whenever we have an argument when I was growing up. She moulded me into a soft-hearted malleable person who jumps in the direction of whoever beckons by threatening to withdraw her affections and turning cold whenever I didn’t want to go her way. And then when I woke up one day to the truth of who I am and how I should be and want to be, she doesn’t respect that. For her, you are either a success or a failure according to her view, it doesn’t matter what insights and epiphanies you have or have learnt. Well, sorry, Madame Judgemental, I don’t care for your opinion anymore because I hold the exact opposite life philosophy and what makes you happy doesn’t make me happy. And I’m no longer cowed by your cold-war tactics, two can play the same game.

Published by moonlakeku

intermediate Chinese fantasy writer working on her debut series

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