Random writing (3)

To compensate for the shorter than normal post today, I will post the third of my conflicting facial expression with emotion random writing series.

Topic: I have to cry whenever I feel happy….

I have to cry whenever I feel happy. Good events are so few and far between in my life that I look upon each of them with gratitude. What expressions I wear for the rest of the times, you ask? None at all. I learnt to go without any expressions. You see, they become your weaknesses. Weaknesses that others could exploit. So yes, I go around expressionless. Expressionless when I’m depressed, expressionless when I’m angry, expressionless when I’m insulted, expressionless when I’m denied.

I have to cry whenever I feel happy. It’s the only expression I allow myself, in secret, in absolute solitude of course. I have to cry whenever I feel happy. It is a way for me to commemorate these few and far in-between occasions. As I cry, I absorb a part of these experiences to hold in my core in exchange for the floods pouring out of me.